


It’s 2:30 AM and I’m Projecting onto Block People

by fraiseal



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Bad Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Character Death, Hurt No Comfort, My First AO3 Post, Sad Ending, spoilers for 3/1 stream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29819484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fraiseal/pseuds/fraiseal
Summary: “He should’ve done better. Hopeless and alone, he stayed there, until the numbness took root again, sinking it’s claws into his soul, piercing his lungs, freezing his heart.”Maybe he hoped it would never leave
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), None
Kudos: 33





	It’s 2:30 AM and I’m Projecting onto Block People

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this shitty fic that hasn’t been edited and won’t be. I made this for a friend who wants to cry before sunrise.

He’s not a kid. Not anymore, at least. Forced to grow up by war, a soldier in a child’s body. President at 16, shouldering two deaths and a broken friendship, link broken by the strain of responsibility and power. Maybe Techno was right. Government-  _ L’manburg _ has only brought hurt and pain. They should’ve left when they had the chance. Then maybe he’d- god damnit, he was so  _ stupid.  _ Why couldn’t he do anything  _ right _ , for  _ once in his life! _

He doesn’t know how he found himself here, trudging through the freezing arctic, like his- like Tommy must’ve done not that long ago. God, it’s only been a few months. He’d just gotten him  _ back, _ had just started to mend their broken trust, had started making things  _ right _ . 

Now he’s gone. For real, this time. Forever. 

Suddenly he was there, staring at the spruce wood door, the entrance to the blood god’s abode.

He couldn’t feel his hand as he knocked, partly from the cold, partly from the aching numbness piercing his heart, tearing at his lungs, freezing his soul. 

The door opened, a burst of warmth hitting his face. He barely felt it.

He could faintly see Techno behind him, and the pitter patter of someone else walking around. Ranboo then. Good. He doesn’t want to have to tell the story twice. 

“Can I come in,” a dull voice asked. It must’ve been his own.

Phil’s stance was defensive, but a hint of concern showed on his face. “What for mate? Here to hunt  _ my son  _ again? Thought you’d had enough, after last time, when you  _ failed _ to execute him like a pig to slaughter?” 

Tubbo chuckled, a hysteric sound, and Philza noticed the way he held himself, like a man with nothing to lose. It reminded him of Wilbur, in his last moments, as he begged to die, and who was he to refuse? He hoped he wouldn’t have to do it again. 

“Tommy’s dead,” he said, and more laughter, as he gripped his hair and fell to the floor, tears falling down his face. “He’s dead, h-hhahaha! Dream did it, he really did it.” 

He raised his head, staring Philza in the eyes, who had the decency to look  _ hurt, _ as if he cared. 

He remembered how Tommy looked when he talked about his childhood, about how it was Wilbur who raised him, who held him when he had nightmares, who kissed his knees when he skinned them against the ground after his latest death defying stunt. How Phil would leave for months at a time, Techno in tow, picking favorites, time after time. How Tommy was always the second choice, even when it came to his brothers.  _ Even when it came to me, _ he realized. He was a horrible friend. 

Suddenly, anger welled within him, a sudden change from the nothingness he’d felt since he’d gotten news of Tommy’s death. 

He so desperately wanted to yell, to shout and rage and tear apart this broken family until there was nothing left, but- who was he to judge? When he was perhaps the worst of them all? At least he’d had Tommy’s trust. Even after he exiled him, Tommy still trusted him- still betrayed his family for him, only to fail him once more. 

Maybe Tommy’s death would be enough. Philza flinched back, Techno stilled in surprise, and a gasp could be heard as Ranboo came into view, tears already gathering in his eyes. 

He gathered himself, standing up from the floor. He threw on his president face, closing off his emotions for the time being. “Tommy’s dead,” he said with finality. 

He couldn’t help a vindictive, “hope you’re happy,” as he turned to leave, ending his visit as abruptly as Tommy’s death had been.   


It wasn’t until he returned to his house in Snowchester- empty, without Tommy’s booming voice and warming presence- that he broke down, helplessly crying, screaming to the void, anguish clear in his expression. 

He should’ve done better. Hopeless and alone, he stayed there, until the numbness took root again, sinking it’s claws into his soul, piercing his lungs, freezing his heart. 

It never left.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you cry?
> 
> I hope you know that things do get better. If you’re going through things, please, look for help. If you need to vent in the comments, go ahead. If you want your comment posted, leave it in the message and I’ll approve it so ppl can see it. Hope you at least try to stay safe <3
> 
> I challenge you to go outside and watch the sunrise if you can. There’s beauty in everything. Even you


End file.
